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SMS and One Liners

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Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?

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A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

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Knowledge is knowing  tomato is a fruit;

Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

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Politicians and diapers have one thing in common.  They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

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A husband was throwing knives on his wife’s photo, while his wife was out of town, but none of the knives were hitting the wife’s photo! Suddenly wife called up, “hi honey, what are you doing?’

The husband promptly replied, “I’m Missing you!” :-)

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A prayer by women: Dear God, I pray for Wisdom so that I can understand my man; Love so as to forgive him and Patience for bearing his moods.

Because Lord, if I pray for strength, I will beat him to death!

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Why do women, on average, live a better, longer & a peaceful life?

Because, women do not have a wife

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Joke: Heartfelt Condolences

Two men were playing golf, together, one day at their local golf course. One of the guys was about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.

The other guy says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.”

The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.”

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If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.

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To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

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