A sardarji walking on the footpath comes across a banana peel on the road.
Any Guesses for what he thought?
” Saala aaj bhi girna padega!!!”
Question : You are in a boat in the middle of a river. You have 2 Cigarettes and have to light any one cigarette. You dont have anything else with you in the boat? How will you do it?
Answer: Take one cigarette and throw it in the water. So the boat will become LIGHTER……..using this LIGHTER you can light the other Cigarette
another deadly answer.
You throw a cigarette up and catch it. Catches win Matches. Using the matches that you win, you can light the cigarette
If that was not enough, one more deadly answer….
Take water in your hand and drop it drop by drop…(TIP – TIP) “TIP TIP barsa Pani. Pani ne aag lagayee.” us aag se hamne cigarette jalayee”. . . . . . .
If that was not enough, one more deadly answer….
Start praising one cigarette, The other will get jealous & “jalney lagegi”
A bus full of politicians were driving down a village road when the bus suddenly ran off the road and crashed into an old farmer’s field.
The old farmer heard the tragic crash so he rushed over to investigate. He then began digging a large grave to bury the politicians.
A few hours later, the local police patrol was driving past the farmer’s field and noticed the bus wreck.
They approached the old farmer and asked where all the politicians had gone. The old farmer explained that he’d gone ahead and buried all of them.
“Were they ALL dead?” asked the puzzled Police Inspector.
“Well, some of them said they weren’t,” said the old farmer, “but you know how the politicians lie.”
An Indian migrated to America , and moved into an American neighbourhood;
One of his American neighbours came to wish him welcome. He was shocked and amused to see the Indian in his dirty backyard chasing ten chickens around like mad. “Must be an Indian custom,” he thought to himself.
He decided he could put off the welcome till a later date, and went home.
The next day, out of courtesy, he decided he was going to welcome the Indian man again.
When he looked through his window, this time, he saw the Indian man urinate into a cup and drink it. “Must be an Indian custom,” he thought to himself and decided to put off the welcome till the next day, he went on with other stuff.
The third day, he was determined to welcome the Indian man. At his gate, he saw the Indian man with his ear pressed against a cow’s big fat butt.
Seeing this, he became disgusted and finally approached the Indian.
“I’m sorry sir, I wanted to wish you a warm welcome, but I cannot stand your crazy Indian customs! ” He yelled at the Indian .
The Indian looked confused and answered. “Sorry sir, I think you are mistaken. These are actually American customs. I was told, that in order to be a true American, you have to chase chicks, get piss drunk, and listen to bullshit.
A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.
Suddenly her husband burst into the Kitchen, “Careful… Careful! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You’re cooking too many at once. TOO MANY!
“Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER?
“They’re going to STICK! Careful… CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you’re cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don’t forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!”
The wife stared at him, “What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don’t know how to fry a couple of eggs?”
The husband calmly replied, “I wanted to show you what it feels like when I’m driving”
1. The Other Side Law:
If my side of the road has a traffic jam, then I can start driving on the wrong side of the road, and all incoming cars are not my headache.
2. The No Queue Rule:
If there is a queue of many people, no one will notice me sneaking into the front as long as I am looking the other way and pay absolutely no attentiaon.
3. The Mind Over Matter Law:
If a red light is not working, four cars from different directions can easily pass through one another. This rule is applicable only where there is a red light!!
4. The Auto Axiom:
If I indicate which way I am going to turn my vehicle, it is an information security leak and should be avoided at all costs.
5. The In Spit Of Thing:
The more I lean out of my car or bus, and the harder I spit, the stronger the roads become.
6. The Cinema Hall Fact:
If I get a call on my mobile phone, the film automatically goes into pause mode
7. The Brotherhood Law:
If I want to win an argument, I need only to repeatedly suggest that the other person has illicit relations with his sister.
8. The Baraat/ Marriage Right:
When I’m on the road to marriage, all the roads in the city belong to me. To ME.
9. The Heart Of Things:
If I open enough buttons on my shirt, the pretty girl at the bus stop can see through my mal-deformed chest into the depths of my soul.
10. The Name Game:
It is very important for the driver behind me to memorize the nicknames of my children.
11. Parking Up The Wrong Tree:
When I double-park my car, the road automatically widens so that the traffic is not affected.
12. The Chill Bill Move:
When I park and block someone else’s car I am giving him a chance to pause, relax, chill and take a few moments off from his rushed day.
13. The Ogling Stare:
If you don’t ogle and drool at every hot Chic that passes by, you’re gay.
14. The Bus Law:
If I stop my bus at the correct place near the bus stop, the city will explode and blow into 6 million pieces.
15. The VIP Rule:
There are only 3 important persons in this city- I, ME, Myself